GOD'S RESUME

 Topics: God, Jokes

 To Whom It May Concern....

I heard you were considering a new manager in your life. I would like to apply for the job. I believe I am the most qualified candidate. I am the only one that has ever done this job successfully. I was the first manager of human beings. In fact I made them, so naturally I know how humanity works, and what is best to get people back into proper working condition. It will be like having the manufacturer as your personal mechanic.

If this is your first time considering me, I would just like to point out that my salary has already been paid by the blood of my son, Jesus on the cross of Calvary. What I need from you is the acknowledgment that the price is sufficient to pay for all of your sin and your previous independence from Me. I need you to believe this in your heart and to tell somebody else about your decision with your mouth.

The next thing I ask is the right to change and fix your life so you can learn how to stay close to Me. I will make some major changes and revisions. They are not for you to worry about. I need your permission to execute these changes, My way and in My time. I will change your desires and give you the strength to make the changes. Please keep your hands out of the way.

Don't try to help me and don't resist me. I really do need your full commitment and cooperation. If you give me those, the process can go smoothly, without delays.

 Yours Sincerely,

 God

 P.S. I created the heavens and the earth. I AM.

 Below is my Resume'

God
Everywhere All over,
Every Place 00000
Phone: (123) 456-PRAY

Experience
 
From the beginning of time.
Before the beginning of time.
From everlasting to everlasting. I made time.

Ability

All Powerful

Prior Employment

Created the universe, put the galaxies in place, formed man. Established heaven and earth by My spoken Word and am currently holding up the world by My power.

Education and Training

 I AM and I have all knowledge.

Character Reference

Love, light, and life (1 John 4:16, 1 John 1:5, John 14:6). A representative, but by no means conclusive list of other character traits follows:

 Wisdom: ...James 1:5

 Comfort: ...2 Corinthians 1:3

 Truth: ...John 8:32

 Healer: ...1 Peter 2:24

 Strength: ...Phil. 4:13

 Forgiveness: ...1 John 1:9

 Provider: ...Phil. 4:19

 Mercy: ...Ephesians 2:24

 Good: ...Matt. 19:17

 Peace: ...Romans 14:17

Availability

Willing and ready to take over your life. Able to put your life together again. Will bring all of who I AM into your life. Can start now. Will transform your life if you let Me.

Salary Requirement

Work in your life has already been paid for through the blood of My Son, Jesus. Your only responsibility is to commit initially and on a daily basis. To trust and obey what Jesus has done and wants to do in your life.

 Content 


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